Welcome Sierra Merle

Twas the night of Game 5 of the NBA Finals… the series was tied 2-2, and I missed the game because I went into labor… 

Earlier that day, Uncle Zak, who generously photographs our births, arrived from NYC and my parents arrived from Wisconsin.

The birth team was officially all in place and apparently Sierra wasn’t waiting a moment longer to come out!

I stepped out of the car after picking up my parents from the airport and suddenly felt like maybe I had peed a little in my pants… “Weird,” I thought. 

I went to the restroom and saw the faintest tint of blood, which could be a sign of labor… or not. But when I laid down and felt cramps, I thought “Mmm… yeah, maybe she is going to come early. S%*!, we are very unprepared.”

I figured I should probably try to sleep if it was go time, so I missed the entire game 5, emerging only in the last few minutes to see the Bucks pull off a victory. I told John and Zak that I was pretty sure I was in labor… they looked at me somewhat skeptically, all of us remembering the 48 hour marathon with River, and said “OK, if you say so” and we all decided to prepare and get some rest, if possible. 

I managed the contractions on my own in bed until about midnight while John, somewhat frantically, got the house in order for a home birth. (We really didn’t think she was coming early!) Around midnight, I was needing John to press on my lower back to get through the contractions so we called our doula, Rebecca, who arrived around 2am. John and Rebecca took turns pressing on my sacrum (lower back) each time I had a contraction until about 7am, when I said it was time to call the midwives. John said “I think it’s too early” (again, remembering last time…) so I waited through a few more contractions and said “No, call them now.” 

John called and when Lilit heard me moaning through the contractions over the phone, she said she thought she was going to miss the birth! 

This next part was somewhat frantic as River woke up and we needed to get him out of the house. (We would have loved for him to be there, but he is way too energetic to manage while giving birth.) Uncle Zak drove him to Sandra’s for the day (his beloved nanny) and returned just as the midwives arrived and started to set everything up.

Lilit and Naomi of Los Angles Midwives arrived around 8am and offered to check how many centimeters my cervix had dilated. This was the part we were all nervous for… When I went to the birth center with River (the first time at around 24 hours), I was only 1-2 centimeters dilated and was sent back home… But, it turns out your body opens a little easier the second time around! I was already 8 centimeters at 8am! I was so relieved to hear I was almost there and knew I could do the rest… no problem!

However, the next two and a half hours were… very intense. The midwives said I was the quietest birther they had ever had, but internally I was having quite a different experience and thought I was being really loud. I used the breathing and visualization techniques of my cervix opening I learned during my hypnobirthing course with Gili Levitin as each contraction came on stronger. I was managing the sensations by actively trying to relax my pelvic floor instead of clench on each contraction. I got in the birthing pool, which felt good, but the smell made me so nauseous and it was almost too relaxing. I needed to feel my own power and weight. 

At some point, Lilit checked me again and told me I could start pushing when I felt the urge, but I just wasn’t feeling it… I tried all fours, squatting, the pool… Nothing felt good or right and I couldn’t access my abdominals. 

Finally, I felt like I had to go to the bathroom... Turns out, it was actually a baby! I stood up and told John she was coming and the whole team came into our (very small) bathroom. (Just imagine six adults cramped into a bathroom about as wide as the aisle on an airplane...) John tried to usher us all out, hoping I’d get in the tub for some blissful and beautiful home birthing photos and memories, but the midwives said to just stay there since she was on her way out. Sorry John!

And with just a few pushes, out she came… Right over the toilet in a parallel plié position (Chair pose in yoga) which apparently is my birthing position of choice. Totally the lasting visual we had hoped for :) 

The next part I’ll spare you since afterbirth is beautiful but a lot of medical assessments are hurriedly taking place. (Just an FYI to any first time birthers, you do have to birth a placenta after you give birth, and get sewn up of there are any tears, so be prepared for that… Good news: you just pushed a baby out, so relatively speaking, physically it’s no big thang, though mentally and emotionally it kinda feels like a lot to have to continue to deal with… But there is no way around it, so… se la vie.) 

Once all of that is done and the baby is checked, the team very efficiently cleans up your house, does the laundry, feeds you and then leaves your house and there you are… in home in bed with your beautiful baby and partner. It is such a peaceful experience and I can’t even express how much better I felt—energetically, physically, and emotionally—being at home. Yes, the labor was only 14 hours this time instead of 48, but the sensations were soooo much more intense with Sierra! The mental toll it takes being in the hospital with doctors and nurses continually coming in to poke you and the baby for 1-2 days, while you sleep on an awful twin bed and your partner sleeps on some hard furniture, with the baby in plastic container next to you… I mean, no thank you! 

Perks of a home birth include your favorite food being delivered to your bed via Uncle Zak (or another angel on your birth team), delayed cord clamping with your partner cutting the cord, photos in bed, getting to connect with your providers in a really intimate space, and just feeling so comfortable and cozy with your new family.

If you are curious about a home birth, I encourage you to explore it as an option. There is so much fear around child birth in our country, and while sometimes medical intervention is necessary, there is another way to bring life into the world that is completely normalized in other countries. The USA has some of the highest infant and maternal mortality rates in the developed world, so perhaps rethinking the way we birth is a much needed change. If you are interested in learning more, watch The Business of Being Born or reach out for other resources / with questions! I’m not an expert, but I’m happy to share experience from courses I’ve taken and personal experience.

Thank you to Los Angeles Midwives, Rebecca Belenky, Gili Levitin, John Suhar, Zak Suhar, and Sandra Bielma for your help on a day we will never forget.

It’s been a month since Sierra joined us and she is as beautiful and peaceful as her birth. We are a very happy family of four and the jury is still out on if there will be more. At this point in my postpartum bliss, I’d have five more if I could. Good thing these hormones wear off and practicality returns :)

All photos courtesy of Zak Suhar.